i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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