there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
