I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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