So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
