Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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