i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
