I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh god it's open bar.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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