your room smells of hookers.
And success
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She bit a glass in half.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize