i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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