Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
