Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
