he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
either way he was missing a nipple.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
