The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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