I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
