We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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