he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
