I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize