I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize