Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
