dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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