We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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