So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
