I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
