She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
