so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize