get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
