What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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