Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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