Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sorry my hands just texted you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
