can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this will be a night to untag.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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