you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
