Barsexuality is the new black.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
