K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
