If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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