Do you still have your period?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
