i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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