I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
