wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
