he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
