That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
