Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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