Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize