God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
