I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize