I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
