i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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