I would go down on you faster than GM stock
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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