No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
