She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Rumble strips road head = magical
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
