The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
