Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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