if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
