Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
