he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
