I just saw a hot homeless man
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
