Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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