Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
