If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
