Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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