this just has baby written all over it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
