Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
