He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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