did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
