So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
