Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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