woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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