Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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