ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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